Child Custody Guide for Colorado Parents
Understanding Parental Responsibilities and Parenting Time
A comprehensive guide for parents navigating custody decisions in Colorado. Learn about custody types, parenting plans, schedules, and how to protect your children's best interests.
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What You'll Learn
Guide Contents
Chapter 1: Introduction: Putting Children First
If you're reading this guide, you're likely facing one of the most emotionally challenging aspects of divorce: determining custody of your children. We want to begin with the most important principle that should guide every decision you make: your children's wellbeing must come first. Children don't choose their parents' divorce, and they shouldn't have to navigate its consequences alone. Research consistently shows that children fare best when they: - Have strong relationships with both parents - Are shielded from parental conflict - Maintain stability in their routines - Feel loved and secure This guide will help you understand Colorado's approach to custody, create effective parenting arrangements, and co-parent in ways that support your children's healthy development. Remember: custody decisions aren't about what's fair for parents—they're about what's best for children.
Chapter 2: Chapter 1: Types of Custody in Colorado
Colorado uses the term "Allocation of Parental Responsibilities" (APR) instead of "custody." Understanding the different components is essential. **Decision-Making Responsibility (Legal Custody)** This is the authority to make major decisions about your children's lives: *Education Decisions* - Choice of school (public, private, homeschool) - Special education services - Tutoring and educational support - Extracurricular activities related to school *Healthcare Decisions* - Choice of doctors and dentists - Medical treatments and procedures - Mental health treatment - Medications *Religious Upbringing* - Religious education - Participation in religious services - Observance of religious holidays and traditions Decision-making can be: - **Joint**: Both parents must agree on major decisions - **Sole**: One parent makes all decisions - **Divided**: Split by category (e.g., one parent decides education, other decides healthcare) **Parenting Time (Physical Custody)** This refers to the actual time each parent spends with the children. Important concepts: *Primary Residential Parent*: The parent with whom children spend the majority of time *Shared Physical Care*: When children spend at least 93 overnights (about 25%) with each parent **Why This Distinction Matters** - Decision-making and parenting time are separate issues - You can have joint decision-making but unequal parenting time - One parent can have sole decision-making while the other has substantial parenting time - Colorado courts generally favor involvement of both parents when safe and appropriate
Chapter 3: Chapter 2: How Custody Decisions Are Made
Custody decisions can be made in several ways, from complete parent agreement to judicial determination. **Parent Agreement** The best outcomes usually result when parents can agree on custody arrangements. Benefits include: - You know your children better than a judge - More flexible arrangements are possible - Less stress on children - Lower cost and faster resolution - Easier to modify later **Mediation** When parents can't agree entirely, a mediator can help: - Neutral third party facilitates discussion - Focuses on children's needs - Helps generate creative solutions - Many courts require mediation before trial **Parenting Coordinator** For ongoing disputes, courts may appoint a parenting coordinator who: - Helps implement the parenting plan - Resolves day-to-day disputes - Can make minor decisions - Reports to the court if needed **Custody Evaluation** In contested cases, the court may order an evaluation by: - Court-appointed evaluator - Private evaluator (chosen by parents) - Child and Family Investigator (CFI) - Parental Responsibilities Evaluator (PRE) Evaluators interview parents, children, and others; review records; and make recommendations to the court. **Judicial Determination** When parents cannot agree, a judge decides based on: - Colorado law and the best interests standard - Evidence presented at trial - Recommendations from evaluators - Guardian ad Litem recommendations (if appointed) - Each parent's proposed parenting plan **Guardian ad Litem (GAL)** A GAL is an attorney appointed to represent the children's interests: - Investigates the family situation - May interview children - Makes recommendations to the court - Advocates for children's best interests
Chapter 4: Chapter 3: The Best Interests Standard
Colorado law requires that all custody decisions be made according to "the best interests of the child." This standard considers numerous factors. **Statutory Factors** Colorado courts must consider: 1. **The wishes of the parents** Both parents' preferences matter, but neither is controlling. 2. **The child's wishes** If the child is of sufficient age and maturity to express a reasoned preference. There's no magic age—it depends on the child's maturity and whether the preference seems genuinely their own. 3. **The child's relationship with each parent, siblings, and others** The strength and quality of existing bonds. 4. **The child's adjustment to home, school, and community** Stability is valued—courts are reluctant to disrupt children who are thriving. 5. **Mental and physical health of all individuals** Including any issues that might affect parenting ability. 6. **The ability of each parent to encourage a loving relationship with the other parent** This is crucial. Parents who undermine the other parent's relationship with the child are looked upon unfavorably. 7. **Past pattern of involvement** Who has historically been the primary caregiver? Who attends school events, doctor appointments, etc.? 8. **Physical proximity of the parties** Practical considerations about how a schedule will work given where parents live. 9. **Ability to place the child's needs ahead of their own** Self-focused parents who use children as pawns face consequences. **Factors That Don't (Directly) Matter** - Gender of the parent (no preference for mothers or fathers) - Which parent has more money - Who "caused" the divorce - New romantic relationships (unless they impact the children) **Factors That Can Hurt Your Case** - Domestic violence or abuse - Substance abuse - Neglect or abandonment - Exposing children to conflict - Alienating children from the other parent - Instability (frequent moves, unstable employment) - Criminal history (particularly involving children)
Chapter 5: Chapter 4: Creating a Parenting Plan
Every custody case requires a detailed parenting plan. A well-crafted plan can prevent future conflicts. **Required Elements** Your parenting plan must address: 1. **Allocation of Decision-Making** - Who makes decisions in each major area? - How will disagreements be resolved? - What decisions require consultation vs. sole authority? 2. **Parenting Time Schedule** - Regular weekly schedule - Summer schedule (if different) - Which parent has children on which days and times 3. **Holiday Schedule** - How holidays are divided or alternated - Specific pickup/dropoff times - Priority over regular schedule 4. **Vacation Time** - How much uninterrupted vacation time each parent gets - Notice requirements - Restrictions (international travel, etc.) 5. **Transportation and Exchanges** - Who transports for pickup/dropoff? - Where do exchanges happen? - What if someone is late? 6. **Communication** - How can the non-residential parent communicate with children? - Reasonable times for calls/video chats - Access to school and medical information 7. **Future Disputes** - Process for modifying the plan - How disagreements will be resolved - Mediation requirements **Additional Provisions to Consider** - Right of first refusal (if parent can't be with child, offer to other parent before babysitter) - Introduction of new romantic partners - Moving/relocation provisions - Child's activities and who attends events - Medical emergency procedures - School and extracurricular involvement - Technology and social media rules - Religious observance - Child's belongings moving between homes **Tips for a Successful Plan** - Be specific—vague plans cause disputes - Consider your children's ages and developmental needs - Build in flexibility where appropriate - Think about practical implementation - Plan for the unexpected - Focus on routines and stability - Include a process for future changes
Chapter 6: Chapter 5: Parenting Time Schedules
Choosing the right parenting time schedule depends on many factors. Here are common arrangements. **50/50 Schedules** Equal time with both parents. *Week On/Week Off* - Children spend alternating full weeks with each parent - Pros: Simplicity, extended time with each parent - Cons: Long stretches away from each parent - Best for: Older children, parents who live close together *2-2-3 Schedule* - 2 days with Parent A, 2 days with Parent B, 3 days with Parent A - Then flip the next week - Pros: Neither parent goes more than 3 days without seeing children - Cons: More transitions, complex schedule - Best for: Younger children, parents who live close together *3-4-4-3 Schedule* - 3 days with one parent, 4 with the other, then switch - Pros: Good balance, not too many transitions - Cons: Requires coordination - Best for: School-age children **60/40 or Similar Schedules** One parent has somewhat more time. *Every Other Weekend + One Weeknight* - Approximately 70/30 split - Common when one parent works more or lives farther - Children have a clear "home base" *Extended Every Other Weekend* - Friday through Monday every other week - Plus one or two weeknight dinners - Approximately 60/40 **Primary Custody with Visitation** One parent has majority of time. *Every Other Weekend* - Traditional arrangement (about 85/15) - Children stay primarily with one parent - Other parent has alternating weekends *Appropriate when:* - Parents live far apart - One parent has limited availability - Young infants (though this changes as children grow) - Safety concerns exist **Considerations by Age** *Infants and Toddlers (0-3)* - Frequent, shorter visits often preferred - Consistency and routine very important - Overnight visits may be limited initially - Plans should evolve as child develops *Preschoolers (3-5)* - Can handle longer separations - Routine still very important - May do well with overnight visits - Transitions can be challenging *School-Age (6-12)* - Can handle week-on/week-off - School schedule becomes important - Activities and friends matter - More input into arrangements *Teenagers (13+)* - May have strong preferences - Social life increasingly important - Work and activity schedules matter - More flexibility often needed - Driving changes dynamics
Chapter 7: Chapter 6: Holiday and Vacation Planning
Holiday schedules often cause significant conflict. Careful planning prevents disputes. **Common Approaches** *Alternating Years* - Even years: Parent A gets Thanksgiving, Parent B gets Christmas - Odd years: Reverse - Pros: Simple, each parent gets full holiday - Cons: One parent misses holiday entirely each year *Splitting Holidays* - Morning with one parent, afternoon/evening with other - Pros: Child sees both parents on actual day - Cons: Transitions on holidays, travel-intensive *Fixed Assignment* - Mother always has Mother's Day, Father always has Father's Day - Works well for parent-specific holidays **Holidays to Address** *Major Holidays* - Thanksgiving (Wednesday evening through Sunday) - Christmas/Hanukkah (often split: Eve vs. Day) - New Year's Eve/Day - Easter - Independence Day *Parent-Specific* - Mother's Day (child is with mother) - Father's Day (child is with father) - Each parent's birthday - Children's birthdays (often shared) *School Breaks* - Winter break (often split) - Spring break (alternate years) - Three-day weekends *Other Considerations* - Halloween - Religious holidays - Extended family events - Cultural celebrations **Vacation Planning** *Typical Provisions* - Each parent gets 2 weeks of uninterrupted vacation time - Must give 30-60 days advance notice - Vacation time supersedes regular schedule - May have restrictions on destinations - Both parents should have contact information *Issues to Address* - International travel (may require consent or passport restrictions) - Travel with new partners - Extended family trips - Sports camps or programs - Cost allocation **Priority Rules** Your plan should specify what happens when schedules conflict: 1. Holidays typically take priority over regular schedule 2. Vacation may take priority over holidays (specify!) 3. Special events (graduations, recitals) addressed how? **Making It Work** - Put it in writing—no assumptions - Be specific about times (3:00 PM, not "afternoon") - Build in flexibility for unusual circumstances - Plan well in advance - Remember: holidays are about the children's experience
Chapter 8: Chapter 7: Long-Distance Parenting
When parents live far apart, custody arrangements require special consideration. **When Distance Is a Factor** Long-distance parenting may result from: - Job relocation - Return to family/support network - Military deployment - The situation at the time of divorce **Typical Long-Distance Arrangements** *School Year/Summer Split* - Child lives with one parent during school year - Spends most of summer with other parent - Holidays divided or alternated *Extended Visit Schedules* - Less frequent but longer visits - May include extended weekends, all school breaks - Summer visits of 4-8 weeks **Making It Work** *Technology* - Regular video calls (schedule them) - Texting and messaging - Shared photo albums - Gaming together online - Virtual homework help - "Facetime dinners" *Visit Planning* - Who pays for travel? - Unaccompanied minor procedures if flying - Advance planning required - Consistent routines at both homes *Staying Involved* - Access to school portals and grades - Attend parent-teacher conferences virtually - Connect with teachers independently - Know the child's friends and activities - Send care packages **Legal Considerations** *Relocation* Colorado has specific rules about moving with children: - For moves within Colorado, notice required if substantially affecting parenting time - For out-of-state moves, must get consent or court approval - Best interests analysis applies - Courts consider impact on the other parent's relationship *When One Parent Wants to Move* The relocating parent must prove: 1. The move is in good faith 2. The move is in the child's best interests 3. Reasonable alternative parenting time is possible Courts consider: - Reasons for the move (job, family, new spouse) - Impact on the child's relationship with both parents - Child's ties to current community - Whether an adequate parenting schedule can be created **Maintaining the Bond** Long-distance doesn't have to mean distant: - Consistency is key—regular contact schedules - Be present for important events when possible - Create traditions for visits - Give children space to adjust at transitions - Work with the other parent on maintaining connection
Chapter 9: Chapter 8: Modifications and Changes
Parenting plans aren't set in stone. As circumstances change, modifications may be needed. **When Modification Is Appropriate** *By Agreement* Parents can always agree to change the parenting plan. For minor, temporary changes, written agreement may be enough. For significant permanent changes, it's best to formalize with a new court order. *By Court Order* When parents don't agree, modifications require showing: - A substantial change in circumstances, AND - The modification serves the child's best interests **What Constitutes "Substantial Change"?** *Usually Sufficient:* - Relocation of a parent - Significant change in work schedule - Child's changing needs (age, school, activities) - Safety concerns (domestic violence, substance abuse) - Failure to follow current order - Parent's inability to care for child (illness, incarceration) *Usually Insufficient:* - Minor schedule inconveniences - General dissatisfaction with the arrangement - Child's temporary preferences - New relationship of either parent (unless affecting child) - Minor disagreements about parenting **The Modification Process** 1. *Try to Agree First* - Direct communication - Mediation - Parenting coordinator 2. *File a Motion* - Motion to Modify Parenting Plan - Explain changed circumstances - Propose new arrangement - Pay filing fee 3. *Serve the Other Parent* - They have opportunity to respond - May file counter-motion 4. *Court Process* - May include evaluation - Mediation often required - Hearing or trial if needed **Emergency Modifications** When children's immediate safety is at risk: - File emergency motion - Court may issue temporary orders quickly - Must show immediate danger - Full hearing will follow **Modification Tips** - Document concerns in writing - Focus on children's needs, not your grievances - Be flexible and solution-oriented - Consider whether modification is truly necessary - Think about the cost and stress of litigation - Remember that stability is valuable for children
Chapter 10: Chapter 9: Effective Co-Parenting
Your relationship with your co-parent will last as long as your children need you—which is forever. Here's how to make it work. **The Business Partner Model** Think of co-parenting as a business relationship: - Professional, not personal - Focused on the shared mission (raising healthy children) - Communication about business matters only - Emotions managed separately **Communication Guidelines** *Method* - Written communication is often best (email, apps) - Creates a record - Allows time to think before responding - Reduces emotional escalation *Content* - Stick to children-related topics - Be brief, factual, friendly - Avoid inflammatory language - Don't relitigate past grievances *Timing* - Respond within reasonable time (24-48 hours) - Don't use urgent channels for non-urgent matters - Respect boundaries around work/sleep hours **Co-Parenting Apps** Consider using dedicated tools: - OurFamilyWizard - Cozi - TalkingParents - AppClose These provide: - Messaging with time stamps - Shared calendars - Expense tracking - Tone monitoring features **Rules for Healthy Co-Parenting** 1. **Never badmouth the other parent** Children love both parents. Criticism hurts them. 2. **Keep children out of the middle** - Don't use children as messengers - Don't ask children to spy - Don't discuss adult matters with children 3. **Be flexible when possible** Rigid adherence to schedules can harm everyone. Accommodate reasonable requests. 4. **Support the other parent's relationship** - Speak positively (or neutrally) - Facilitate contact - Share information about the children 5. **Present a united front on major issues** Discuss discipline, rules, and expectations. Consistency helps children. 6. **Handle disagreements privately** Never fight in front of children. Discuss differences away from them. 7. **Respect boundaries** What happens in the other parent's home is generally their business. 8. **Focus on what you can control** You can't control the other parent. Focus on being the best parent you can be. **When Co-Parenting Is Difficult** *Parallel Parenting* For high-conflict situations: - Minimal direct contact - Written communication only - Strict adherence to plan - Neutral exchange locations - Children's activities separate *Getting Help* - Therapist for yourself - Family therapist for children - Parenting coordinator - Mediator for specific disputes **The Payoff** Children who see their parents cooperate: - Have better emotional adjustment - Perform better academically - Have healthier relationships as adults - Feel more secure - Are less likely to have behavioral problems
Chapter 11: Chapter 10: When Custody Is Contested
Sometimes parents can't agree on custody. Here's what to expect if your case goes to court. **Reasons for Contested Custody** - Fundamental disagreements about parenting - Safety concerns - Relocation disputes - One parent seeking primary custody - Disagreements about decision-making **The Process** *Initial Filing* The petition identifies custody as contested and proposes a parenting plan. *Temporary Orders* Either party may request temporary custody arrangements while the case is pending. *Discovery* Gathering information relevant to custody: - Written questions (interrogatories) - Document requests - Depositions *Custody Evaluation* Court may order: - Child and Family Investigator (CFI) - less extensive - Parental Responsibilities Evaluator (PRE) - more comprehensive - Private evaluator chosen by parties Evaluators: - Interview parents and children - Observe parent-child interactions - Talk to teachers, doctors, others - Review relevant records - Make recommendations to the court *Mediation* Usually required before trial. Many cases settle at this stage. *Trial* If no agreement: - Each side presents evidence - Witnesses testify - Experts may testify - Judge makes final decision **Preparing Your Case** *Document Everything* - Your involvement in children's lives - Concerns about the other parent - Communications - Incidents relevant to custody *Gather Evidence* - School records, report cards - Medical records - Photos and videos of involvement - Communications with teachers - Witness contacts *Be the Better Parent* The best thing you can do for your case: - Be actively involved - Maintain stability - Support children's relationship with other parent - Follow court orders - Don't engage in conflict **What Hurts Your Case** - Alienating children from other parent - Violating court orders - Making unfounded accusations - Putting children in the middle - Social media posts showing poor judgment - New partners who create conflict - Untreated mental health or substance issues - Domestic violence or controlling behavior **Working With Your Attorney** - Be completely honest - Provide all relevant information - Share concerns early - Listen to advice about realistic outcomes - Focus on children's best interests, not "winning" **After the Decision** - Follow the court order - Don't badmouth the process to children - Focus on making the arrangement work - Modification is possible if circumstances change - Appeal is possible but usually not advisable
Table of Contents
- 1.Introduction: Putting Children First
- 2.Chapter 1: Types of Custody in Colorado
- 3.Chapter 2: How Custody Decisions Are Made
- 4.Chapter 3: The Best Interests Standard
- 5.Chapter 4: Creating a Parenting Plan
- 6.Chapter 5: Parenting Time Schedules
- 7.Chapter 6: Holiday and Vacation Planning
- 8.Chapter 7: Long-Distance Parenting
- 9.Chapter 8: Modifications and Changes
- 10.Chapter 9: Effective Co-Parenting
- 11.Chapter 10: When Custody Is Contested
- 12.Appendix: Information Gathering Checklist
Who This Guide Is For
Parents with children going through divorce or custody proceedings
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