Preparing for Your Custody Evaluation
What to Expect and How to Prepare
If a custody evaluation has been ordered in your case, this guide explains the process, what evaluators look for, and how to present yourself effectively while staying focused on your children's best interests.
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What You'll Learn
Guide Contents
Chapter 1: Introduction: Understanding Custody Evaluations
A custody evaluation is an in-depth assessment of your family to help the court determine the best custody arrangement for your children. If an evaluation has been ordered in your case, it means the court wants professional input on custody decisions. **Why Evaluations Are Ordered** - Parents significantly disagree about custody - Concerns about a parent's fitness - Allegations of abuse, neglect, or substance abuse - Complex family dynamics - Children have special needs - Judge wants more information **What an Evaluation Is NOT** - It's not a contest to "win" - It's not about proving you're a better parent - It's not about attacking the other parent - It's not a forum to relitigate your marriage **What an Evaluation IS** - An assessment of each parent's ability to meet children's needs - An evaluation of the children's relationships and bonds - A professional opinion about what arrangement serves the children best - Input for the court—not a final decision **Your Mindset** Approach the evaluation with these principles: - Focus on your children's wellbeing, not winning - Be honest—evaluators detect deception - Be cooperative and responsive - Show your best parenting self - Let the evaluator see your genuine relationship with your children
Chapter 2: Chapter 1: Types of Evaluations
Colorado uses different types of custody evaluations depending on the complexity of the case and the issues involved. **Child and Family Investigator (CFI)** - Less comprehensive evaluation - Typically 3-4 months - Lower cost ($2,500-$5,000) - Investigates and makes recommendations - May interview parents, children, collateral contacts - Reports to court Appropriate when: - Issues are relatively focused - No serious allegations - Budget is a concern - Less complex cases **Parental Responsibilities Evaluator (PRE)** - More comprehensive evaluation - Typically 4-6 months - Higher cost ($5,000-$15,000+) - Detailed psychological assessment - Extensive interviews and testing - May include psychological testing - Thorough report with recommendations Appropriate when: - Serious concerns (mental health, substance abuse) - Complex issues - High-conflict cases - Allegations of abuse or neglect **Private Evaluators** - Chosen by the parties (jointly or each side) - Can be psychologists or mental health professionals - Costs vary widely - May be hired for specific issues **Guardian ad Litem (GAL)** - Attorney appointed to represent children's interests - Investigates the case - Makes recommendations - Advocates for what's best for children - May work alongside CFI or PRE **What They Have in Common** All evaluators: - Are trained professionals - Have specific qualifications under Colorado law - Must remain neutral - Report to the court - Make recommendations based on best interests
Chapter 3: Chapter 2: What Evaluators Look For
Understanding what evaluators assess helps you prepare, but remember—the goal isn't to "game" the evaluation. It's to genuinely demonstrate your parenting. **Parenting Ability** - Understanding of children's developmental needs - Ability to provide for basic needs (food, shelter, safety) - Meeting emotional needs (love, support, encouragement) - Educational involvement - Healthcare management - Age-appropriate discipline - Routines and structure **Parent-Child Relationship** - Quality of the bond - Communication patterns - Comfort and affection - How children respond to each parent - Engagement during activities - Attunement to children's emotions **Ability to Co-Parent** This is crucial. Evaluators look at: - Willingness to support children's relationship with other parent - Ability to communicate about children - Flexibility and cooperation - Keeping children out of conflict - Not disparaging the other parent **Red Flags Evaluators Watch For** - Parental alienation behaviors - Inability to separate parental conflict from children - Inappropriate boundaries with children - Signs of abuse or neglect - Substance abuse issues - Untreated mental health issues - Domestic violence patterns - Prioritizing own needs over children's **Stability Factors** - Housing stability - Employment stability - Support systems - Ability to provide consistency - Mental and emotional stability **History** - Who has been primary caregiver - Past involvement in children's lives - History of concerning behavior - Previous custody arrangements
Chapter 4: Chapter 3: Preparing for Your Evaluation
Preparation helps you present yourself accurately and completely. **Before You Start** *Review Your Goals* - What custody arrangement do you believe serves your children best? - Why do you believe this? - Can you articulate this without attacking the other parent? *Gather Information* - Your children's schedules, activities, medical needs - Schools, teachers, coaches, healthcare providers - Your work schedule and availability - Your support system *Reflect Honestly* - What are your parenting strengths? - Where could you improve? - What concerns might the evaluator have about you? - How can you address those honestly? **Documentation to Prepare** Gather and organize: - Children's school records - Medical records - Your work schedule - Calendar showing time spent with children - List of children's activities and needs - Contact information for collateral contacts - Any relevant communications See the appendix for a complete checklist. **Know What the Evaluator Has** Ask your attorney: - What pleadings and motions are in the court file? - What has the other side alleged? - What concerns might be raised about you? **Prepare Your Home** - Clean and organized - Children's rooms set up appropriately - Age-appropriate toys, books, activities - Safety measures (if applicable) - Evidence of your children's presence **Prepare Yourself** - Get enough sleep before interviews - Dress appropriately (neat, clean, casual professional) - Manage your anxiety - Practice staying calm when discussing difficult topics
Chapter 5: Chapter 4: The Interview Process
Interviews are the heart of the evaluation. Here's what to expect. **Your Individual Interview** Expect questions about: - Your relationship history - Your children (ages, personalities, needs) - Your parenting approach - Typical day/week with children - Concerns about the other parent - What you think is the best custody arrangement - Your work and living situation - Support systems - Mental health and substance use history - Your view of the other parent's strengths **Tips for the Interview** *Be Honest* - Evaluators are trained to detect deception - Admitting faults is better than being caught in a lie - Don't exaggerate concerns about the other parent *Stay Focused on Children* - Every answer should connect to children's wellbeing - Avoid relitigating the marriage - Don't vent about your ex *Be Specific* - Give examples, not generalizations - Use specific incidents to illustrate points - Dates, times, what happened *Stay Calm* - The evaluator notes your emotional regulation - Take breaks if needed - It's okay to say "I need to think about that" *Answer the Actual Question* - Don't ramble - Don't volunteer irrelevant information - Ask for clarification if needed **Discussing the Other Parent** This is tricky but important: - Be fair and balanced - Acknowledge their strengths as a parent - Be specific about genuine concerns (not character attacks) - Show you understand children need both parents - Never say children would be better off without them (unless there's true danger) **Questions About Your Parenting** - Describe your typical parenting day/week - How do you handle discipline? - How do you handle medical decisions? - How do you support education? - What activities do you do with children? - How do you handle children's emotions?
Chapter 6: Chapter 5: Home Visits
Most evaluations include at least one home visit with each parent. **Purpose of Home Visits** Evaluators want to see: - Your living environment - How you interact with your children - How your children behave in your home - That you can provide for children's needs - Your parenting in action **What to Expect** - Tour of the home, especially children's spaces - Observation of parent-child interaction - Possibly a meal or activity time - May include interview time **Preparing Your Home** *Safety and Appropriateness* - Age-appropriate space for children - Safety measures in place - Clean and reasonably organized - Not excessively staged (evaluators notice) *Children's Presence* - Evidence that children live/spend time there - Their belongings, artwork, photos - Age-appropriate toys and activities - Homework area (if applicable) *Don't Go Overboard* - The evaluator knows you cleaned - An obviously staged home is a red flag - A lived-in, functional home is fine - Don't buy things to impress the evaluator **During the Visit** *With Your Children* - Act naturally - Don't coach children - Don't put on a show - Engage in typical activities - Let the evaluator see your real relationship *Good Activities to Consider* - Preparing a meal together - Playing a game - Homework time - Reading together - Whatever you actually do together *Avoid* - Over-scripted activities - Coaching children on what to say - Excessive hovering - Obvious attempts to impress - Bringing up the other parent **Special Considerations** - If you live with a partner, they may be interviewed - Extended family in the home may be interviewed - Let the evaluator see your actual living situation
Chapter 7: Chapter 6: Do's and Don'ts
Clear guidance on what helps and what hurts. **DO** *Be Honest* - About your own history - About concerns with the other parent - About areas where you could improve - Honesty builds credibility *Focus on Children* - Every answer should relate to children's wellbeing - Show you understand children's developmental needs - Demonstrate child-centered thinking *Support the Other Parent's Relationship* - Unless there's genuine danger, children need both parents - Show you support children's relationship with the other parent - Speak respectfully about the other parent *Be Responsive and Cooperative* - Return calls and emails promptly - Show up on time - Provide requested documents quickly - Be flexible with scheduling *Show Your Best Parenting* - Let the evaluator see your genuine relationship - Demonstrate appropriate boundaries - Show warmth and engagement *Get Mental Health Support* - Therapy shows you're dealing with the stress appropriately - Addresses any concerns about your mental health - Gives you tools to manage the process **DON'T** *Don't Badmouth the Other Parent* - Especially to or around children - Excessive criticism hurts your case - Be balanced and fair *Don't Coach Children* - Children can tell and often reveal it - It's a major red flag - Evaluators are trained to detect this *Don't Use Children as Messengers* - Or have them spy - Or put them in the middle - Or ask them to choose sides *Don't Lie or Exaggerate* - Evaluators will verify information - Catching you in a lie destroys credibility - Exaggeration is a form of dishonesty *Don't Get Defensive* - Even about difficult topics - Show you can handle criticism - Acknowledge areas for growth *Don't Try to Manipulate the Process* - Evaluators see through it - It backfires every time - Just be genuine *Don't Violate Court Orders* - During the evaluation period especially - Follow all custody orders exactly - Follow all restraining orders exactly
Chapter 8: Chapter 7: After the Evaluation
What happens when the evaluation is complete. **The Report** The evaluator will prepare a written report including: - Summary of the investigation - Information gathered from each parent - Collateral contact information - Child interviews (if conducted) - Analysis of the best interests factors - Recommendations for custody **Receiving the Report** - Your attorney will receive a copy - Review it carefully with your attorney - Identify any factual errors - Understand the recommendations **If You Disagree** Options may include: - Requesting corrections of factual errors - Deposing the evaluator - Hiring a rebuttal expert - Cross-examining the evaluator at trial Discuss the strategic implications with your attorney. **The Report's Impact** - Judges often follow evaluator recommendations - But the report is not binding - It's one piece of evidence - Other evidence matters too **Moving Forward** *If Recommendations Favor You* - Don't gloat - Continue cooperative behavior - Consider whether settlement is possible *If Recommendations Don't Favor You* - Don't panic - Discuss options with your attorney - Consider whether the recommendations have merit - Decide whether to settle or proceed to trial **Learning from the Process** Regardless of outcome: - What did you learn about your parenting? - What could you do better? - How can you best support your children going forward? **Final Thoughts** The evaluation is stressful, but it's one step in a process. Focus on: - Being the best parent you can be - Supporting your children - Working toward a resolution that serves them - Your relationship with your children over the long term
Table of Contents
- 1.Introduction: Understanding Custody Evaluations
- 2.Chapter 1: Types of Evaluations
- 3.Chapter 2: What Evaluators Look For
- 4.Chapter 3: Preparing for Your Evaluation
- 5.Chapter 4: The Interview Process
- 6.Chapter 5: Home Visits
- 7.Chapter 6: Do's and Don'ts
- 8.Chapter 7: After the Evaluation
- 9.Appendix: Documents to Gather
Who This Guide Is For
Parents facing custody evaluations
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